At the receiving end

Today I attended a function. A colleague of mine had become a father recently and hence gave a dinner at a city hotel. A party, one can say.Or whatever one calls that. When we can say luncheon, can't we say dinnereon?To bachelors like me these occasions are a god-send.
7.30 pm was the starting time and I made it there at 9.00 pm sharp! In a cradle, the child was there (ofcourse, what else to expect, the Father himself? redundancy!). My colleague took me to his wife sitting beside the cradle. Here came the critical moment, that I wanted to blog about. To give the gift. I don't know why, I become jelly-kneed when in attending functions, the time to give gift comes. It always happens that when I handover whatever I brought gift-wrapped, the host is looking somewhere else, and I end up extending the gift limply (limply?? I am not sure, anyway, you get the meaning, right?) in the glare of arc lights to be recorded for posterity. This happens unfailingly everytime. I am more comfortable in private chats where you don't have to do the gifting in so theatric a manner. The smooth art of handing over money or a gift in functions is beyond me. Clumsy, thy middle name. :-( Today it happened the same way.My colleague was fiddling with his digi-cam (in addition to the videography) His wife was looking fondly at the child and I was holding out the gift with the hosts blissfully unaware, and the videographer recording my discomfort. Like every other time, before. Murphy's law: For embarassing situations the law of averages takes a leave. So I am afflicted with GiftkodukkOphobia, it seems. "kodukka" is Tamil meaning "to hand out", why diseases do always have to be greek? Actually in functions it is a little better in that when one goes upto the hosts, they eye the gift in one's hand too even though the timing, I manage up to mess up. If one goes to a house with a gift, the host has to go through an elaborate charade of refusals, "why this formality? why so costly a gift (at a trinket!,sarcastic, i doubt)" and so forth.In ceremonies at least, they expect gifts and even a person is allotted to take care of the gifts.Hmm...after that it's business as usual; take a plate, have a swipe at whatever is in offer, false-smile your way through acquaintances, catch up with friends and drive back home.Thank God for small mercies!!