Constipation of the body; Diarrhoea of the mind!

When it comes to profound thinking, there's no better place to me than the loo! Sitting in the toilet (I've not misspelt anything. Now don't be a smartass), my thoughts flow undisturbed and reveal previously unthought of truths. A little extra constipation, and one can be a great thinker, till the kingdom come(er..er...ok, let it be).Two days before, I was at my usual seat of wisdom and I came upon the following questions:
1. We come across countless number of mail forwards these days. Has anyone seen any person who created one such a forward? There are senti forwards, humourous forwards, factual forwards and what not! For example, one had comparing the recovery of Mumbai and NewOrleans after natural disasters. And there's an old one showing Laloo allegedly sitting during the National Anthem. There are numerous mushy forwards replete with photos of scenery and flowers arranged in a studio background. And virtually no end to the humourous and supposedly humourous forwards! The latest on this flavour I received was comparing the software engineering profession to the oldest one. Anyone who hasn't read that one still and want to read, mail me, and I'll fwd you that! I like this variety of forwards though. They strive to lighten our dreary daily routines. Their downside is that they quickly turn stale. Okay, coming back to my initial question, why am I yet to see anybody claim himself/herself to be the author of such and such forward?
It looks like a strange and secret netherworld exists which creates all these junk and releases into the web world. And were there any fwds when snail mails ruled? Imagine! A person gets a letter which contains just a joke. He reads it, laughs at it, and quickly putting pen to paper, copies it down and sends it to someone across! Another one gets a post in which a rose or some flower is drawn in a pink/violetish mushy background and extolling the virtues of riendship, love and all such feelings. He immediately painstakingly draws that into another mail and posts to everybody he knows, his snail mailing group, cousins thrice removed, friends very much removed and the like! Difficult to have happened, right? So nothing beats snail mail as an antidote to junk and spam.

2.Sachin comes again, scores a half century and any Indian worth his salt goes ga-ga over it! When was the last time when the following scenario happened?
a.The chips were down for the Indian team (Ofcourse, this happens all the time, but wait till you get the entire combination)
b. It's the fourth inning of a Test match and India does the batting
c. A seemingly stiff target (true, our team can make any target seem stiff to achieve, but lets assume it's a real stiff target. One that's stiff for the world beating Aussies or the Aussie beating English, okay?)
d. And our man Tendulkar plays a match winning fourth inning knock and saves our team the blushes!! Can anybody remind me of any occasion where these four things have come together? Sorry, but I can't remember one such. Either it'll be an easy target or we would crumble from an easy position (The Chennai one, where we lost by 13 runs or so to the Pakis, rankles me still. I was there, to see the fire and fury of Wasim and Waqar, but it was a Test where we could've won). Or be it any inning, still, it would be somebody else saving our team from defeat(Yeah, VVS' 281 is what I too think of!). Sachin can set up a good total for the team. But when the going gets tough....it's a different thing altogether. Hmm..Sachin looks like a good batsman, and maybe a little bit more, but never extraordinary after all. Never in the class of Viv, Ian or Steve when it comes to playing Horatius Cocles!

3.Why bad/filthy words are called unparliamentary words? Ofcourse words being considered bad or filthy is a matter of perception. Ask any self respecting college student. His standard beneath which, a word will be considered unparliamentary will be very low that even a snake can't crawl under.Anything goes!
Here the question is why such words are considered unparliamentary. To me they should be called parliamentary, going by the legislative behaviour, the world around.Imagine if they are known such what would happen. It would go something like this:
Kid: Ma, I don't like this @#$%&@$* food!
Mom: Mind your language! No parliamentary language allowed in this house!
Kid: Why Ma? I'll grow up to become a politician and stand up for the election.
Mom: Politician! Election! My foot!
Kid: No Ma! I'd stand for the election on my feet. Not yours!
Mom: You wise cracking s......#$%#%&!!!!!
Kid: you'd make a good politician Ma, with a parliamentary language like that!
Right na?I could not dwell on such thoughtful gems forever, because it was the office toilet. And I am not paid to think (For that matter, Whoever is?) So I had to go back to my seat and wonder on more mundane matters like what mistake did I make while setting up the data card to get the soc7 abend. So I reached for the tissue and as they say, rest is history!