Valuing our Independence

I saw "Mangal Pandey - The Rising" today.




Went without expectations and that helped. Everybody knows the story so it is the treatment, that was to look forward to.

I liked the timing of the movie, releasing the weekend before Independence day. It helps to some extent in telling the present Indian populace how our Independence was hard earned one.I could not understand all the dialogues in their entirety, since, I have only a passing acquaintance with Hindi. But I could very much grasp the narrative.

There was polite applause when the protagonist takes on the enemy. And when he gets beaten, there were a few stray shouts too. But in general, the audience viewed as a entertainer, and some more. That's all.

Coming to the film as such, it is a balanced portrayal of events which shows East India Company's opium trade as well as Mangal Pandey firing at his own countrymen when it warranted. But it seems that Aamir Khan has had some doubts regarding the amount of interest that our First war for Independence would hold for the masses as a screenplay. So he resorts to Rani Mukherjee and Amisha Patel as a backup. And that affects the could have been taut storyline. Rani with her cleavage and expressions swings between erotica and glamour. Not at all needed in this kind of a movie. A.R.Rahman is good in both BGM as well as songs, but whether he is authentic as to the music of the land and time, only our North Indian brethren can tell.Overall, I could not but feel shades of Kamal Hassan in Aamir Khan. Be it the method acting or the portrayal of women (Amisha gets lip-kissed, though not by Aamir) in the movie, Kamal could be seen in him.

But this movie which has undercurrents of Hindu-Muslim unity in these times of religious intolerance, is a powerful reminder of the oppression and humiliation that pre-Independence Indians had to face, and the struggles and courage with which they overcame them.Now, when we celebrate Independence Day by watching special latest movies in TV, this is good. For this, I salute Aamir Khan.

And, India, my country, I am proud of you and your glorious history!

"I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love........
...most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
we may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
and soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
and her ways are ways of gentleness and all her paths are peace."
- Cecil Spring-Rice

Barry! Dave Barry!

I like Dave Barry’s work very much. Whenever I got hold of a Mad magazine, I used to leaf through for his pages. Though his books are priced a bit steep (Any original is costly for a pirated, platform book purchaser), they are good. Sometimes he harangues a bit more on a topic. Still class is there. I have a collection of his quotes and I quote from them:

Starters:
“White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until it gets inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.”

On American way of life:
“The article quotes a wildlife official as saying that great horned owls "regularly" attack people. "They have very powerful feet," the official says, leading us to believe that it is just a matter of time before these creatures are employed by automobile dealerships ("No thanks really, I was just look... HEY! Let GO!!")”

“We wanted to have a relaxing family vacation, so we got together with two other families and rented a sailboat in the Virgin Islands. There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea,listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"”

“Disney World is a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads come around to your restaurant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh with delight”

“The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse”

On little family issues (and my tongue in cheek):
“Nintendo enables the child to develop a sense of self-worth by mastering a complex, demanding task that makes his father look like a total goober.
The typical Nintendo game involves controlling a little man who runs around on the screen trying to stay alive while numerous powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him; in other words, it's exactly like real life.”

“Dave's Safety Precautions: (1) Never keep three-year-old children around the house. (2) If you do, never sleep.”

Cocking a snook at the British:
“In America, people drive on the RIGHT side of the street, whereas in London, they drive on BOTH sides of the street, using hard-to-see cars about the size of toaster ovens. The best way to handle this, as a tourist, is to remain on one side of the street for your entire visit, and see the other side on another trip”

All in the family:
“Tragically, my wife and I both happen to be domestically impaired. If we were birds, our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape”

“The trick to remember while backing a boat into a carport is, if you turn your car wheels to the right ("starboard"), the boat trailer will actually go to the LEFT ("forecastle"), until your wife ("Beth") announces that you have run over a sprinkler head ("$12.95")”

Management:
“I think the people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads at Disney World are part of a corporate discipline program for Disney executives: "Johnson, your department is over budget again. You know what that means." "No! Please!" "Yes! INTO THE GOOFY SUIT!"”

No parody is worth its salt if doesn’t poke the taxman:
“18th Century Tax Forms: "To determineth the amounteth that thou canst claimeth for depreciation to thine cow, deducteth the amount showneth on Line XVLIICX-A of Schedule XIV, from the amount showneth on Line CVXILIIVMM of Schedule XVVII... No, waiteth, we meaneth Line XCII of Schedule CXVIILMM... No holdeth it, we meaneth..."”

Dave! I hail thou! You’ve made my day many a time. :-)

It's my day! Anyday!

Sunday, late evening I venture out with my friend M. I want to try out X&Y, Cold Play's latest album.I go to the music shop to buy a CD. Develop cold feet and buy a cassette, instead. That way, if it turns out to be a dud, my loss'd be minimal, I calculate. The fact that, later I liked the album very much and cursed myself for not buying the CD is a different story.
But when I reach the market place where the music shop is located, I find the market crowded. It's the place they call it as Chhappan (56 eateries lined up, no less!). Even on normal weekends the place will be crowded, but this Sunday it is as packed as sardines in a can. One curious thing I notice is all are teenagers! Then I realise, "Oh God! It's Friendship day today!"
M finds it very difficult to drive through the mass and we have to park well ahead of our destination and walk.I find it crazy, all this Friendship day thronging. True, I too got friendship sms from a friend, but it is a stray incident. Here, there is, an city's entire teenage population! In one place! There is'nt any music or dance programme going on. Just that, everybody milling around, patronizing all the roadside and pavementside eateries and in general making a hell of a noise. M laments, "I should have been with a young thing and roaming like these people. It's my bad time, I have you for company". I commiserate. Is it not my bad time too?
Adding to this shops are selling pieces of string advertising them as "Friendship Bends". lol. "All stupid young things out there! Come here and buy our strings and tie to your stupid friends and your day would be complete, your friendship survived the test of friendship day, and we are happy counting the money" is the motto.
Coming from a no-nonsense Chennai (except for NewYear when people at midnight go crazy, shout, drink, drive and accost girls, if there are any, at that time), it is strange for me. I can see through the greeting card companies' motive in promoting such non-events. Nowadays even music companies have joined the band wagon. They'll bring out one sugar candy oozing album, promote it like mad, and rake the moolah from people senti enough to buy them. If it is anything romantic, Celine and Elton will pierce our eardrums crooning thier high Cs. Or mostly, one local wannabe will rehash (calling it remix) some old song and let every pinky teeny bopper gyrate to it.
An entire city going ga-ga! Whoa! That's something, for sure. I don't know what difference they see from this Sunday to all other days! Infact when asked to wish in return, by a friend, I had craftily replied, "Everyday is a friendship day to me, since I cherish my friendships all the days". I hate specially marked days to cherish a thing, wish sweet nothings (What do you exactly convey by gushing out,"Happy friendship day"?") and in general make an occasion for extracting money someway or the other. Let me tell you, Men are suckers when it comes to such senti occasions. They are made to shell out money, one way or the other be it Feb 14 or Raksha bandhan! Bah, I'd say it's a women devised scheme to commemorate such things as love and friendship on a particular day! Mind you, I'm not against women. I am just seeing through the senti, sugar candy stuff. And what do I see? Not a heart of Gold, but a heart pining after gold! (Just couldn't resist the turn of phrase, nothing else) Hmm.. Am I too cynical or am I getting old?
Anyway, we have some snacks at one of the 56 shops, move over to a pizza joint some distance away for finishing our dinner. We do it leisurely, then drive home past the market place. Now police men are regulating the crowd and diverting the market bound traffic! At 10 PM on a Sunday! We've got an office to go the next morning. We drive by this phenomenon, not being a part of it.

Dropping a hint. Like a bomb...

I took my friend A to a hospital, as he was down with fever, headache and other ailments. It was quite a big hospital. We went to meet the duty doctor. There was pictures all around the hospital walls. But what caught my attention was a picture at the duty doctor room. It was a picture of vulture!! yeah, they had hung a picture of the king of carcass, at the first place every patient will be ushered in!! Oh my God, if there had been an award for the subtlest hint, it should take the cake..er...award. First I was furious at their choice of picture, then I started to laugh at that. Atleast, they were frank about the possible consequences, a patient will suffer, having come to them!

All is fair in war and politics!!

With a coffee, in hand I start scanning the news paper. Reading the cartoons, sports pages, I slowly gulp the filter coffee. When you don't put your lips on to the rim of the tumbler, you cannot call it sipping, right? So, I slowly "gulp". Calvin is upto his usual pranks. Some Hollywood starlet divorces. News is thin. Amidst of all this I saw a photo. Madhya Pradesh CM, coming out of the Assembly to plead the opposition sitting outside on protest, to come in. I was pleasantly surprised. In my homestate, TN, politicians of opposite sides are not supposed to even look at each other. Few days back too, I saw a photo of MP politicians of all hues warmly talking to each other at the start of the assembly session! Why can't such manners and pleasant demeanour be practised by my home state politicians, I wonder! It's not that MP politicians are not tainted of scandals. Infact their conversation when two opposing guys meet and cheese for the cameras might even go like this:
X: "Hi, How are you?"
Y: "Hi, How is the enquiry against my corruption coming on?"
X: "Oh, That building society scandal. I have put a committee, headed by a retired judge, who needed a salary more than a pension. It may be the end of it.BTW, what happened to your agitation against my misrule?"
Y:"Yeah. We burnt a few buses, got few diehard followers arrested. a few more assembly noisy protests and a day's strike. That's it. meanwhile can you take care to evict us when we protest?"
Y: "Sure. And there are a few judges retiring this year end. So if you get to occupy this post, next election, you need not look far, for some committees. And how did your daughter enjoy Switzerland?"
Y: "Fine. Thanks. My daughter likes Switzerland. Eventhough the bank account business took a whole day, she got to sight-see too"
X: "Good. Next week I am sending my nephew for that job. OK. You carry on with your protest, while I'll give some sound bytes to those journo nuisance on leash there"
Y: "Ciao"
All done with panache. Scandals, corruption, strikes, riots are the same everywhere. But why does my state politicians look daggers at each others, refuse to even share the same forum including assembly and so on? When the mayor of the state capital met the CM, both belonging to opposite parties, a few years ago, it made a major news splash! Partly the media is responsible for stoking their enemity, I believe. As a result, very little gets done for the state and its people! :-((
Hope the next generation of politicians come together in tackling people's grievances, while they make something in the side. Something in the side, that will go on! It will become the longest surviving profession, when all other professions beome extinct. Come On, a famous politician once said, "A man who is in charge of honey distribution from the jar is entitled to lick his hand later on!"

Can't think, can't move, can blog

It's a lazy, lazy, lazzzzzzzy world. Everywhere I look, I see people moving about in slow motion. The milk man comes late, the news paper slithers in being shy about coming in 30 minutes after it is due.It's three hours since I woke up, but still sleep drips from my eyebrows much like the rain water dripping from the eaves outside. Everywhere is wet, wet, and damp. But this laziness around me, I sense for the past two days. Oh, it's in me, I realise. Wearing the blinkers of sloth, I perceive the world to be lazy. For example, see down below the apology of a post, I blogged yesterday. It started as a full page in my mind. It got censored by my lazy fingers which refused inputs from my brain and demanded a concise summary of what the brain wanted to be told. "Don't blather on", screamed my fingers at the brain. And this trend continues today too. My building janitor informs me that the main road to the office has been flooded due to the incessant rains the night before. I might have to take a roundabout, or risk driving through knee deep water. But unperturbed, I blog away, unwashed, unhurried and blatantly lazzzzzy.I would like to take a day's leave, laze around and...... well, I am lazy to think what I might do lazing around. But I have to go to office as I depend on the office canteen to feed me, two times a day! It may sound better but lazing around also means starving. Stomach in a panic, orders my mind to start for office. Mind running in circles, hazy in its thoughts and what not! What a Monday! Definitely not manic. I have to will myself to stop further blogging, move me, get ready to office etc...Let's see how the day turns out to be. For now, bye.
P.S: Typos, if any, are due to half shut eyes and a full shut brain. Pardon me, pleazzzzzzzz..

Luxury of the lazy

Whatever I do, these days, I find an undercurrent of thought always,meandering about the topics i could blog on. Sometimes an excellent area I can dwell on my blog, comes to my mind, only to die a premature death in my conscious. I lay down half-awake, half-asleep today morning, and I realised there's nothing like lying in the bed. I snuggled inside the blanket. oh, what a luxury. However deep you sleep, it's nothing compared to lying inside the blanket awake. And if it's a bit cold it's all the more better. Then I'd curl up inside the blanket covering me like a cocoon. Come weekends and there's nothing like rolling in bed till say 11 A.M. Semi-awake, muffled outside sounds filtering in, but not loud enough to disturb my dreams....aaAh...This is bliss! Not everybody gets to enjoy, the luxury of waddling in bed wrapped by a blanket, I know. My friend A, works in a truck factory and has to start at 6.45 AM everyday, six days a week.My friends easily irritate him by just mentioning, "We awake only at 9AM".Hmm... Hope I don't cause such emotions inpeople reading my blog!

Murphy's laws which I got to verify!

When I try cooking and as a result dishes overflow in the sink, servant maid will take a leave of absence.

Only last and first weeks of the month will see the servant maid in full attendance.

Paying salary to the servant maid will always make her fall sick afterwards.

If I sprain my right wrist at the bowling alley, I'll definitely sprain my right foot afterwards, making my one side pain-challenged! ("It hurts like hell" is not a politically correct term).


When I have a con call at 9.30 AM, I'll wake up only at 9.00 AM

When I am on time, my team lead will never require me. But when I'm late getting ready to office, he has to call me on my mobile, enquiring my whereabouts, being absent for the con call.

When I'm hungry at 5 PM, there won't be any birthday parties in the canteen where I can have freebies.

When I get an invite for a birthday party an urgent assignment will prevent me having a go at the snacks and I'll be tied to my cube.

All parties and treats will be given within a short period of time, say a week, making me sick of them for that span and easier on the hosts' pockets.

When the dinner treat is on me, office canteen lunch will be at its worst making my friends go easy on the lunch and all too prepared for dinner!

There are other very valid laws, which I will not put here, for that will make my blog a real tearjerker!

Rendezvous

Up the rolling hills ever so high,
I start to climb; weary of the sins I load
On my soul, which joins my body in a sigh.
Path is so steep and winding is the road
I reach the bowl of the Lord after many a rest.
I feel serene and calm, outside too.
Shivering in the cold, I take a holy dip with zest.
And I join the crowd, pious and true.
Queue circles and slithers like the serpent of the Lord
Every move makes the crowd chant His name
All diverse in demographics, united in the God
Poor and rich; To Him they are one and the same
About to meet the Lord, of the hills that are seven
I quiver and quake. Only His name I say
Bestowed His presence, I am in heaven
I break down in bliss as I am pulled along the way
With unbearable thirst I wandered like a nomad
Scorched by the heat; the spawn of my sins
Trembling in His presence; deliriously glad
Two eyes not enough to see Him, the saviour prince
I came out in peace, and my heart is content
As no earthly riches can give me such ecstasy
His enigmatic smile! I wonder what Balaji meant.
Again I'd be summoned, that is my fantasy!

@#$%&*!@*&%#

M is my good friend. At the day's end he'll invariably call me from his cube and we'll start out together from office towards mess for dinner. And he'll rope in our another friend A, who works in a different company. M will always ensure A is also there, as A has no other company for dinner. And if me and M start talking, we'll get immersed in the topic and analyse it threadbare. He shares a passion for reading Tamil books and discussing Tamilnadu politics. He is not crazy about outdoor sports like cricket. Max, he sticks to Table tennis. He also loves to recount college days and we generally gravitate towards each other. We were planning on long drives, adventures in the kitchen (He likes to prepare potato gravy) and all such. Such a nice fellow to know!
One might be wondering why I am drivelling on and on about M. Pardon me, I am about to say my piece. Our office had an influx of campus batch recruits this thursday. There is one girl hailing from Tamilnadu. She also belongs to the same college as M. She is a junior of M (obviously). Mr.M today was a changed man! Today is just Friday and in the morning he spoke in piteous tones of how she must be starved for South Indian food. This morning he declared that he is bringing her to our mess! Early evening, today I called him up just to chat him up. Lo and behold! That guy was at the tennis courts! I was mildly surprised. I told him that I have to leave early and will wait for his call when he leaves from office so that I can start from home to mess. Call comes later, but he is already attacking the food at the mess. And his dear friend A, whom he never fails to pull for dinner, is totally forgotten today. I had to remind M to call A!! Ofcourse when I reached the mess, M was having dinner with her. Normally M will saunter into the mess, swipe everything at sight, lift his portly figure and leave. Not so, today. A perfect gentleman, he was, tasting a decent and reasonable quantity of food. Guy A came later and with other 3 friends, with M and her, we all started yakking after dinner. Half an hour later one of us remembered the bill and asked what the fresher had for dinner. M quietly replied that he had paid for both of them! Both of them! And he is after me for a paltry amount I owe him. Hmmm....Till yesterday M used to harass other guys who do just so much as to talking to girls. Now he is gentleness personified! Only thing is he has started forgetting his daily routines like rounding up fellow us guys at dinner time, stretching his body for nothing more that TT etc. Today, he plays Tennis and even in flood lights too. Makes a great impression, I think. Grrrr....Ways of the world! What makes a sane man with a logical mind to do strange things, then look sheepishly at his friends, generally do acts that we never dream him to do?