Constipation of the body; Diarrhoea of the mind!

When it comes to profound thinking, there's no better place to me than the loo! Sitting in the toilet (I've not misspelt anything. Now don't be a smartass), my thoughts flow undisturbed and reveal previously unthought of truths. A little extra constipation, and one can be a great thinker, till the kingdom come(er..er...ok, let it be).Two days before, I was at my usual seat of wisdom and I came upon the following questions:
1. We come across countless number of mail forwards these days. Has anyone seen any person who created one such a forward? There are senti forwards, humourous forwards, factual forwards and what not! For example, one had comparing the recovery of Mumbai and NewOrleans after natural disasters. And there's an old one showing Laloo allegedly sitting during the National Anthem. There are numerous mushy forwards replete with photos of scenery and flowers arranged in a studio background. And virtually no end to the humourous and supposedly humourous forwards! The latest on this flavour I received was comparing the software engineering profession to the oldest one. Anyone who hasn't read that one still and want to read, mail me, and I'll fwd you that! I like this variety of forwards though. They strive to lighten our dreary daily routines. Their downside is that they quickly turn stale. Okay, coming back to my initial question, why am I yet to see anybody claim himself/herself to be the author of such and such forward?
It looks like a strange and secret netherworld exists which creates all these junk and releases into the web world. And were there any fwds when snail mails ruled? Imagine! A person gets a letter which contains just a joke. He reads it, laughs at it, and quickly putting pen to paper, copies it down and sends it to someone across! Another one gets a post in which a rose or some flower is drawn in a pink/violetish mushy background and extolling the virtues of riendship, love and all such feelings. He immediately painstakingly draws that into another mail and posts to everybody he knows, his snail mailing group, cousins thrice removed, friends very much removed and the like! Difficult to have happened, right? So nothing beats snail mail as an antidote to junk and spam.

2.Sachin comes again, scores a half century and any Indian worth his salt goes ga-ga over it! When was the last time when the following scenario happened?
a.The chips were down for the Indian team (Ofcourse, this happens all the time, but wait till you get the entire combination)
b. It's the fourth inning of a Test match and India does the batting
c. A seemingly stiff target (true, our team can make any target seem stiff to achieve, but lets assume it's a real stiff target. One that's stiff for the world beating Aussies or the Aussie beating English, okay?)
d. And our man Tendulkar plays a match winning fourth inning knock and saves our team the blushes!! Can anybody remind me of any occasion where these four things have come together? Sorry, but I can't remember one such. Either it'll be an easy target or we would crumble from an easy position (The Chennai one, where we lost by 13 runs or so to the Pakis, rankles me still. I was there, to see the fire and fury of Wasim and Waqar, but it was a Test where we could've won). Or be it any inning, still, it would be somebody else saving our team from defeat(Yeah, VVS' 281 is what I too think of!). Sachin can set up a good total for the team. But when the going gets tough....it's a different thing altogether. Hmm..Sachin looks like a good batsman, and maybe a little bit more, but never extraordinary after all. Never in the class of Viv, Ian or Steve when it comes to playing Horatius Cocles!

3.Why bad/filthy words are called unparliamentary words? Ofcourse words being considered bad or filthy is a matter of perception. Ask any self respecting college student. His standard beneath which, a word will be considered unparliamentary will be very low that even a snake can't crawl under.Anything goes!
Here the question is why such words are considered unparliamentary. To me they should be called parliamentary, going by the legislative behaviour, the world around.Imagine if they are known such what would happen. It would go something like this:
Kid: Ma, I don't like this @#$%&@$* food!
Mom: Mind your language! No parliamentary language allowed in this house!
Kid: Why Ma? I'll grow up to become a politician and stand up for the election.
Mom: Politician! Election! My foot!
Kid: No Ma! I'd stand for the election on my feet. Not yours!
Mom: You wise cracking s......#$%#%&!!!!!
Kid: you'd make a good politician Ma, with a parliamentary language like that!
Right na?I could not dwell on such thoughtful gems forever, because it was the office toilet. And I am not paid to think (For that matter, Whoever is?) So I had to go back to my seat and wonder on more mundane matters like what mistake did I make while setting up the data card to get the soc7 abend. So I reached for the tissue and as they say, rest is history!

Nature at its best!

I sweep aside the curtains as eyelids sweep off the sleep.
Outside, the sky paints the whole world of its own hue

I, glad that there is no rain, shrug and go about
I get ready, open the door and step out.

The joyful cold air hugs me nipping about
Ignoring it, I briskly walk to the car

Mist of the night lie crusted on the windscreen
Like the blanket on me, the night before.

I just set the wiper in scour off mode and pull off the park
Just as my mind glides off to the day's work

Eyes on the road and also on the clock
With the cerebellum taking care weaving through the flock

Mind in a stir,sequences the things to do
The bedecked Fall entices me; striving to woo

Trees in yellow, brown & red make a screensaver of the world!
I pass by with nary a glance and a thoughtful stare.

Boards of black in white plead the limits of speed
Eyes see through them as I hurtle onward

Colours of Monet and Sisley dance around
I ignore them as mounds of office work abound

Like one among the bees of a hive
The car snugly fits in a slot of the lot

As the car with a shudder grinds to a halt,
Mind switches into top gear, on the mark for the start.

All the grandeur of nature fail
When with work on my mind, I walk not but sail

And out of the blue, in the corner of my eye
Walks in a girl; Mind in a whirl goes, "Oh My!

Work forgotten, lies among the leaves as they pall,
My eyes and mind are on Nature at its best, in Fall!

Cognitive dissonance!

Finding a laptop within your means - Happiness
Ordering for one - Anticipation
Waiting for the laptop to be delivered - Expectation
Seeing the one you bought - Satisfaction
Getting a Wi-Fi and surfing - Comfort
Online virus infection - Irritation
After just a week, the system gasping for a life - Frustration
Call from a kind friend, boasting a higher but cheaper version purchase - Grrrrr...*#$%&*.
I managed to clean up my system. It's up and about. Though I'm overcome with a strong urge to break my friend's laptop on his head, I am happy about my purchase.Mine's super cool.One should not buy a higher version, with bells and whistles, when the lower version itself fulfills your needs, I say. Mine fulfills my needs, and that's all that counts. I am happy. Satisfied. ..........Am I? A wee bit lying! Too much of heartburn!

Tag-tailed!

I've been tagged by barathrao to write 7 things on few topics and here i go. In olden days, people used to get postcards/letters, espousing some God and simultaneously threatening the receiver with dire consequences if he/she fails to forward similar letters. Later we came into email fwds which urged one to continue the chain for the sake of some blah. And in blogosphere we've got tags.Not that all tags are boring. But, some are contrived. Another side is, tagging might also make the tagged one happy in that he/she is being read, recognized, and in someone's memory enough to be tagged. We all love publicity and recognition, don't we? On some topics, I too love to be tagged like the Fiction-55 tag. Another one tag I saw looping about in blogosphere was the book tag where the tagged one has to list out his library. It didn't reach me though. :-(
This 7's-tag too made me think, albeit about me. Some introspection, it was. Maybe had I taken some more time, I'd come up with better lists. But spontaneity would've been lost.

Seven things you plan to do before you die!!
Read as many good books as possible

Travel around the world

Learn a foreign language

Write a book on my domain.

To retire into teaching

Learn to play drums & play it

Understand Relativity theory & proof of Fermat's theorem

Seven things you can do (Am not doing right now)!!
Be a little optimistic

Study

Stop being philosophical

Start some bad habit

Be more smart

Catch up with missed friends and relatives

Dissolve my cute little tummy

Seven things you can't do.
Without a phone

Stop getting enraged at perceived wrongs

Being patient

Concentrate for a time

Speak fluent Hindi

Save money

Wear contacts

Seven things that attract you to the opposite sex!!
Intelligence

Being genuine

Sense of humor

Understanding

Down to earthiness

Cooking

Good looks
Seven things you say most!!!
Hello!!

Acha

Na (as a suffix)

Pasikudhu (Hungry)

OK

"_ _ _ _" (When with close male friends)

Naaye

Seven celebrity crushes (People I want to be like (Iwtbl) or be with (bw))!!!
Richard Feynman (Iwtbl)

Don Henley (Iwtbl)

Prakash Karat (Iwtbl)

Mark Knopfler (Iwtbl)

Bharathiyaar (Iwtbl)

William Wordsworth (Iwtbl)

My girl friend (bw) - If I understand one!

Mera Bharat mahaan!

I saw Ghajini! At Chicago! Meeting fellow men who speak your language in a faraway land makes one happy. Getting to see a movie in your mothertongue, makes me happier. Trust me, even while was in India, I couldn't see Tamil movies because I was in Hindi heartland. But in English (American version) land, I get to go to a movie hall screening Tamil movie. Cool.

The movie's concept is a lift-off from "50 First Dates", where Drew Barrymore loses her memory within a shortwhile (15/30 mins, I don't remember now). But this movie utilises the concept for a so-called thriller, where the hero manages to overcome his handicap of memory loss to take revenge (what else?) on the villains! The original was a comedy movie, with Adam Sandler managing Drew's memory loss. Ghajini is worth watching once. First half, the humour carries the movie very well.

The thing I liked was Tamil fans! There were whistles when hero and heroine were introduced. truly like back in our place. I was proud! No matter where you are, you should foster your culture. That's my belief.

And Indians and Pakis as a whole nurture the subcontinent culture at Devon, a place an hour's drive from Chicago. There to cross the street, you have to disregard the rules. Waiting for pedestrian signal will get you nowhere. There i saw spittle on the streets, shop toilets littered with paper and water and suddenly population density was higher there! Just like in our country. I got the feel of our country there. Atrocious rates were quoted in electronics shop there, for a roti maker, and we had to bargain!

You can take an Indian out of India. But you can never take the India out of him!

test post

You can comment here on the ranting below.

Frustration in Fifty-five!

"Why am i spammed?", bellowed the blogger. The heavens thundered and boomed a stentorian voice,"Serves you right. For you were a tele-marketer in your previous birth. And that was before the privacy laws came". The blogger cackled, for then he became sure that these spammers would be harangued by nosier techniques of the future!
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I was thoroughly disgusted yesterday by the was I was spammed immediately as I blogged a new post. Immeiately I turned on the spam protection, but by then 4 creeps had sneaked in. I think seriously of breaking their brains, or whatever they have for them. I can't understand how the heck they could attract business their way by spamming others. That naive a people are there to be taken in by spammers, is beyond my ken.

Reality check! (Fiction in fifty-five)

He was with his fiancee. Mercenaries sprang on them.The road was deserted, but courage didn't desert him. He fought them off, and saved his damsel from distress. The night show ended and lonely he walked, whistling to himself,putting down his panic. But no whistling would save from his waiting shrew of a wife.

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Thanks Janani, for tagging me to write a 55 word fiction. An one hundred and fifty-five word short story and ruthless paring for an hour, resulted in this rule-conforming output. It was an eye-opener in that it made me realise the redundant, superfluent, unnecessary, needless and dispensable flab in my fable. :-)

Just my imagination!

Don't know where to begin.
Don't know what to write.
Thoughts roll on, they come in waves.
Thoughts fighting among each other for the right to write about.
I'd like to write about my shift in place of work.I'd like to write about my dislocation in culture and society.I'd like to write about the funny things, that happened, and that happen.
I also remember that I've been tagged by BarathRao and Janani.Whenever my mind is idle, and that's all the time, it thinks what to write about in less than 55 words!
Yet to put my ideas into words.Fetuses of thoughts, aborted half-way through.So here i end up writing nothing, or writing about nothing. Whatever!!This maybe the writer's clog, the anti-thesis of writer's block.Well, atleast I make a restart, after being stalled for the past two weeks!And am happy about that!