Living on a prayer

Last week, when during an idle chit-chat (Is there ever a official chit chat? OK..ok..they are called meetings), my friend asked me, "when do you reach office and what you do in the mornings? I said, "I come to office at around 9 0'clock +/- 30 mins".
She: "What time do you get up?"
Me: "I get up around 6.30."
She: "Then how does the whole 2.5/3 hours go?"
Me: "I brew coffee,and with coffee go thro' the two morning newspapers leisurely. Then morning ablutions(thinking meanwhile, "are there evening ones?"), prayer and finally donning office wear patting pockets for wallet, ID card, kerchief, bike key etc.. and off".
She said, ""Prayer! Wow! what will you do? Light deepak and then? prayer for how long?"
Me: "around 10 mins"
She: "What will you pray?"
Me: "Just something (thinking meanwhile, "asking the god this and that")" She left it at that and there ended the conversation.
But my conscience didn't leave it at that. It started asking me, "What is the use of your prayer if you utilise that for presenting a fresh charter of demands daily?"
Me: "Then whom to tell my grievances if not my creator?"
Conscience: "Have you ever to tried to realise the God in you?"
Me: "No. Sorry! That's beyond my scope"
Conscience: "Atleast, have you ever thanked God since there are billions in the country who are less fortunate than you"
Me: "Then what makes a person less or more fortunate? Karma?" Conscience: "Don't divert the topic.Have you not become His manager setting him targets for the day and cribbing when the day turns out to be less than what you anticipated?"
Me: "Then what should go for prayer?".
I couldn't get a satisfactory answer. I thought and thought. If god is omnipotent and omniscient, then why does he let us suffer, Him being the benevolent one? When I ride my bike along the road, what more good things than I did and how, than a person who walks along, being poor to afford a bike? Or what the guy zipping around in a car past me has done enough to satisfy God to bestow him with riches? Why is material wealth not distributed uniformly? Or for that matter why only a rare few are in possession of wisdom? If God wants everyone in His powers (and that should include EVERYONE) to lead a better life, why didn't he make one and all, a saint and a rich person, at the same time? Or why does God allow the piteous misery that many people suffer through their life? Why the heck does God allow rape, pillage and plunder in the land? Are there two areas to everyone's life, one that is controlled by God and one that is decided by every individual's actions? Could be. Like depending on your actions in the areas under your control, God decides on the area He controls!! How is this? There might be several bands of fortune. Here fortune means the sum total of your material wealth, knowledge, love, wisdom and other endowments. One may lack in something, be showered with some other thing, a la Stephen Hawking. So, He will study how you behave in the areas you can decide (like writing this blog) and decide on the area He rules over (like the band you fall in next time). This way the next time you get a better or worse band and given some area where He just watches you and doesn't interfere in your actions. If you are going to torture and harass a person, not only does it mean that your such actions aren't controlled by God, it also means that the victim has fallen into a worst band this lifetime as a result of very poor performance last time. Sounds like performance appraisal in office? Pretty much is. If this sounds like crock, answer this: can't He straightaway control and eradicate our bad thoughts and deeds? Looks like He is pretty diffident about this. I get one more question here. Say, all behave in an exemplary manner, in their present lifetime. Who'll torture a guy who has to suffer now, because of his misdeeds the last time? So God himself might mete out some kind of punishment like maiming. Then, it makes God a mere dispenser of Justice. I don't believe that. Then can't He really pardon a person who has sinned and give him a good life, all his x remaining lives? Are we all mere characters of a giant video game? And is the kid with the joy stick the God? I am going nowhere with my hypotheses.
Sometimes I, during my prayers, could connect to Him. Not that He provides answers. Just that I get the feeling He listens. Many a time I also have felt His protective Hand around me. Hmmm....I am reminded of a stanza studied long ago, nevertheless imprinted in my mind,
"Dhukh mein sumiran sab karai
Sukh mein karai na koi
Jo sukh mein sumiran karai
Dhukh kahe ko hoi"
Translated, it'd mean something like this,
"Everyone thinks of Him when in sorrow
Nobody does when being happy
For whom remembers Him in joy
there is no sorrow as such" .
Seems that's the way the cookies crumble!