The after taste!

*
Today was a different Monday. I didn't go to office, today. My mother left for Chennai today. The train was at 4, and I had to drop her at the station. I took the entire day off. Morning I got up late, lazed about afterwards. Had to do minor shopping for mom. Did that. Had a third
or fourth coffee, I don't remember, and slept.
Woke up at 2, took bath and slowly got ready to see my mother off. She wanted to stay a bit longer here, but that couldn't be. We went to the station, she in an auto, me escorting in a bike. We reached the station. I parked hurriedly in a no parking zone, for the auto used a different entrance and I had to rush there to pick up the luggages and pay the driver off. The station was a madhouse, with three important trains leaving around the same time. We trundled along slowly, climbed up the stairs, and got down on a platform hemmed by two trains, only to realise that we are on the wrong'un. I asked to mom to rest awhile. We had plenty of time on our side. I was tinged with worry about entering the station without a platform ticket and having parked the bike in a wrong place too. She was fretting over getting on the correct platform and on to her seat at the earliest. I was a bit irrascible trying to hide my concerns regarding bike and platform ticket from her. Otherwise, she'd fret more and that through her entire long journey too. I didn't want that. Then we again moved platforms, this time to the correct one. I made my mother sit at her reserved berth.
I started watching the crowd. It was fascinating. People hanging on to the person whom they have come to see off! It was all senti, pally-pally and smoochey stuff. I idly thought whether the odd bunch talking to the odd traveller, fond and fast, would've shown the same emotions till then. It seems that the train, the threat of departure it holds seems to evoke strange emotions in people. Maybe, every departure is like a temporary death, and hence affects us very much. My mom, held my hand, talking the take care of your health and such other stuff, that usually moms speak. The train was a bit empty and mom was a bit worried about travelling all alone. I could do nothing to that. Just commented not to take anything offered by strangers. I got down and stood by the glass window.
The train was already late by 10-15 minutes and so I didn't want to be in. We tried some sign language through the thick plexi-glass window. To no avail. I started observing how different groups having come to send off different persons, behave. It was truly
revealing. Though a few people looked disinterested, generally all were caught in their own whirlpool of sending-off emotions. People must have been together for quite some time. Yet they had so much to speak at the last moment! They had to exchange important phone numbers which God only knows why, they didn't do earlier. My mom was trying to say something and I couldn't make out any. The train showed no signs of movement. I was getting a bit tired, my mind already in "what would have happened to my bike" and "will they fine me for not buying platform ticket" mode. My mom meanwhile was just looking at me throught the glass window, being not able to tell something. Then again she wanted to talk something. I couldn't make out and just shrugged.
The delay, meanwhile, was telling on everybody at the station. People ran out of words to speak. Nobody can spout sugary stuff all the time, I guess. And high intensive outpouring drains people, I suppose. I idly thought whether the info my mom failed
to convey through the window glass was something important. The thought nagged on me. I may meet my mother again maybe next year. So why not be all ears now to her, my conscience pricked. The ticket examiners were chatting on the platform. I decided that it would be a long time before the train would start. The entrance nearest to my mom's seat was blocked by a
crowd looking on to their traveller standing at the door. I ran to the farthest entrance, hopped on, and raced through, to my mom's seat. I asked her what's it. She swept it off, said nothing, just drinking me in through her eyes. "Take care" tumbled through my lips. The train as if waiting for those words made a move.
Immediately my mom asked me to get off. I jumped down through the nearest exit, pushing aside the traveller still waving to her audience. I with a slight trepidation walked towards the entrance eyes on the look out for ticket checkers. Two of them were chatting ignoring the people. I managed safely across. One more hurdle to cross. I was a bit
nonplussed when I didn't find my bike in the position I parked in, but a bit skewed. Some other car wallah had managed to squeeze in abutting my bike. I walked nonchalantly and with a prayer on my lips, swung my leg across the bike. I heard a shout and looked up to see a cop beckoning me. My heart sunk. When bad luck comes in threes, why good luck shuns fellow company? I cursed at myself. I then launched into an innocent role. I claimed that I was new to the area and with a piteous expression wondered that whether it was a no parking area. Ofcourse all my histrionics didn't save me and my 100 rupees from being separated.
I was dejected that I had to unnecessarily pay that unofficial fine. I moved my bike and slowly came out of the station. I drove slowly and came to an area in shade and stopped there. I felt that I had to talk to someone. I called my friend C, at Delhi, and told her how I had to pay the policeman. My heart was heavy. Though, a niggling inside told me that being caught by the policeman was not the reason.

* - My mom, roommates and friends after a sumptous dinner.

Mom's the word!

My stomach is happy. It's having a gala time this week. It's tasting all varieties of home cooked food. Yeaaah, My mother is here, with me. My flatmates, friends and I are having a gala time this week. In the evenings, I look forward to start from office, for a change. I don't worry about where to have food. Yippeee! My mom, who doesn't know a syllable in Hindi, managed to come this far to the Hindi heartland. I should thank my office for not granting me any leave even when not giving me enough work! Frustrated, as anyone would be, I asked my sis to book tickets on tatkaal, and lo and behold! My friends at Chennai bundled off my mom on the train. I offloaded her, here, and brought her home.
Two days, Monday and Tuesday, she managed to sit alone all through the day, while I yawned at office for the whole of each day. Wednesday, I had to arrange a shopping trip. Sari shopping trip! Today, the fourth day since she's been here, I think she'd start missing her Sun TV. She generally awakes with the Sun TV and goes to sleep after all those umpteen senti/tear-jerking/supposed-to-be-thriller serials. Those serial killers are my Mom's life line. Hopefully, the cable wallah will give our home a connection. Atleast I won't have to regret for ever for taking my Mom away from her world of serials for a long time.
Meanwhile my mom is playing dumb charades with the servant maid. Mom talks in tamil, maid speaks in god-only-knows, some dialect of Hindi, and they both get along!
Today I brought my team lead home for dinner. The flamboyant bengali, enjoyed my mom's sambar rice. Had a second helping too, which my mom liked. he stayed for just 15 min, had dinner, touched my mom's feet and left.
Just two more full days of Mom! :-(

What does it take to be an URI?

I recently had the privilege of getting to know the characteristics of an U.S returned Indian. Let me list out them here, meanwhile referring to him as URI, in short.

1. Suitcases would be strewn around the house with his history, , geographical location, travel itenary and all such details except his horoscope, pasted on them in big block letters. And tags! yeah.

2. URI'll miraculously remember all the distantest relatives, call them on the phone and letting it slip by that he has a few goodies for them, meanwhile seriously enquiring about their well being.Then URI'd drown out their formal protests assuring them that bringing Hershey's kisses is his duty.

3. URI'd talk of cleanliness in the US, nonchalantly leaving the dropped shorts in as-is-where-is condition on the floor.

4. For a 30-40 min travel, URI'd bring his CD man along. URI has to relieve his boredom during the short trip. Three friends accompanying him can't match his CD man. More than that, URI has to attach himself to his Sony CD man even while sleeping.

5. And it's not worth living if the traffic at U.S. is not talked about. The speed of traffic, the roads, the yellow pedestrian crossings where whizzing cars creak to a stop...blah..blah...

6. Voila! New sneakers! Suddenly the house shoe rack will see new sneakers. The usual formal black shoes which would have received avuncular attention a short time back in India, would be discarded on the floor.Yes, avuncular! I had never seen a person daily caressing his shoes at the end of every day with spittle and cloth, before this guy came along. But that's history.

7. The guy who refused to do as much as open his eyelids when the milk man literally broke down the door everyday before, would now miraculously wake up early morning. Oh, we realise. It's the jet lag. And URI's room mates'd get preached about the virtues of rising early in the morning.

Heartfelt thanks for my room mate B, who offered himself as an unwitting specimen for this study. And continues to offer himself, I have to add.

If I am left alive by B, after he reads this, I'll continue posting. Bye for now.

P.S: B! Take this in a sportive spirit. Nevertheless, please clean up after you. ;-)

Living on a prayer

Last week, when during an idle chit-chat (Is there ever a official chit chat? OK..ok..they are called meetings), my friend asked me, "when do you reach office and what you do in the mornings? I said, "I come to office at around 9 0'clock +/- 30 mins".
She: "What time do you get up?"
Me: "I get up around 6.30."
She: "Then how does the whole 2.5/3 hours go?"
Me: "I brew coffee,and with coffee go thro' the two morning newspapers leisurely. Then morning ablutions(thinking meanwhile, "are there evening ones?"), prayer and finally donning office wear patting pockets for wallet, ID card, kerchief, bike key etc.. and off".
She said, ""Prayer! Wow! what will you do? Light deepak and then? prayer for how long?"
Me: "around 10 mins"
She: "What will you pray?"
Me: "Just something (thinking meanwhile, "asking the god this and that")" She left it at that and there ended the conversation.
But my conscience didn't leave it at that. It started asking me, "What is the use of your prayer if you utilise that for presenting a fresh charter of demands daily?"
Me: "Then whom to tell my grievances if not my creator?"
Conscience: "Have you ever to tried to realise the God in you?"
Me: "No. Sorry! That's beyond my scope"
Conscience: "Atleast, have you ever thanked God since there are billions in the country who are less fortunate than you"
Me: "Then what makes a person less or more fortunate? Karma?" Conscience: "Don't divert the topic.Have you not become His manager setting him targets for the day and cribbing when the day turns out to be less than what you anticipated?"
Me: "Then what should go for prayer?".
I couldn't get a satisfactory answer. I thought and thought. If god is omnipotent and omniscient, then why does he let us suffer, Him being the benevolent one? When I ride my bike along the road, what more good things than I did and how, than a person who walks along, being poor to afford a bike? Or what the guy zipping around in a car past me has done enough to satisfy God to bestow him with riches? Why is material wealth not distributed uniformly? Or for that matter why only a rare few are in possession of wisdom? If God wants everyone in His powers (and that should include EVERYONE) to lead a better life, why didn't he make one and all, a saint and a rich person, at the same time? Or why does God allow the piteous misery that many people suffer through their life? Why the heck does God allow rape, pillage and plunder in the land? Are there two areas to everyone's life, one that is controlled by God and one that is decided by every individual's actions? Could be. Like depending on your actions in the areas under your control, God decides on the area He controls!! How is this? There might be several bands of fortune. Here fortune means the sum total of your material wealth, knowledge, love, wisdom and other endowments. One may lack in something, be showered with some other thing, a la Stephen Hawking. So, He will study how you behave in the areas you can decide (like writing this blog) and decide on the area He rules over (like the band you fall in next time). This way the next time you get a better or worse band and given some area where He just watches you and doesn't interfere in your actions. If you are going to torture and harass a person, not only does it mean that your such actions aren't controlled by God, it also means that the victim has fallen into a worst band this lifetime as a result of very poor performance last time. Sounds like performance appraisal in office? Pretty much is. If this sounds like crock, answer this: can't He straightaway control and eradicate our bad thoughts and deeds? Looks like He is pretty diffident about this. I get one more question here. Say, all behave in an exemplary manner, in their present lifetime. Who'll torture a guy who has to suffer now, because of his misdeeds the last time? So God himself might mete out some kind of punishment like maiming. Then, it makes God a mere dispenser of Justice. I don't believe that. Then can't He really pardon a person who has sinned and give him a good life, all his x remaining lives? Are we all mere characters of a giant video game? And is the kid with the joy stick the God? I am going nowhere with my hypotheses.
Sometimes I, during my prayers, could connect to Him. Not that He provides answers. Just that I get the feeling He listens. Many a time I also have felt His protective Hand around me. Hmmm....I am reminded of a stanza studied long ago, nevertheless imprinted in my mind,
"Dhukh mein sumiran sab karai
Sukh mein karai na koi
Jo sukh mein sumiran karai
Dhukh kahe ko hoi"
Translated, it'd mean something like this,
"Everyone thinks of Him when in sorrow
Nobody does when being happy
For whom remembers Him in joy
there is no sorrow as such" .
Seems that's the way the cookies crumble!

Valuing our Independence

I saw "Mangal Pandey - The Rising" today.




Went without expectations and that helped. Everybody knows the story so it is the treatment, that was to look forward to.

I liked the timing of the movie, releasing the weekend before Independence day. It helps to some extent in telling the present Indian populace how our Independence was hard earned one.I could not understand all the dialogues in their entirety, since, I have only a passing acquaintance with Hindi. But I could very much grasp the narrative.

There was polite applause when the protagonist takes on the enemy. And when he gets beaten, there were a few stray shouts too. But in general, the audience viewed as a entertainer, and some more. That's all.

Coming to the film as such, it is a balanced portrayal of events which shows East India Company's opium trade as well as Mangal Pandey firing at his own countrymen when it warranted. But it seems that Aamir Khan has had some doubts regarding the amount of interest that our First war for Independence would hold for the masses as a screenplay. So he resorts to Rani Mukherjee and Amisha Patel as a backup. And that affects the could have been taut storyline. Rani with her cleavage and expressions swings between erotica and glamour. Not at all needed in this kind of a movie. A.R.Rahman is good in both BGM as well as songs, but whether he is authentic as to the music of the land and time, only our North Indian brethren can tell.Overall, I could not but feel shades of Kamal Hassan in Aamir Khan. Be it the method acting or the portrayal of women (Amisha gets lip-kissed, though not by Aamir) in the movie, Kamal could be seen in him.

But this movie which has undercurrents of Hindu-Muslim unity in these times of religious intolerance, is a powerful reminder of the oppression and humiliation that pre-Independence Indians had to face, and the struggles and courage with which they overcame them.Now, when we celebrate Independence Day by watching special latest movies in TV, this is good. For this, I salute Aamir Khan.

And, India, my country, I am proud of you and your glorious history!

"I vow to thee, my country, all earthly things above,
entire and whole and perfect, the service of my love........
...most dear to them that love her, most great to them that know;
we may not count her armies, we may not see her King;
her fortress is a faithful heart, her pride is suffering;
and soul by soul and silently her shining bounds increase,
and her ways are ways of gentleness and all her paths are peace."
- Cecil Spring-Rice

Barry! Dave Barry!

I like Dave Barry’s work very much. Whenever I got hold of a Mad magazine, I used to leaf through for his pages. Though his books are priced a bit steep (Any original is costly for a pirated, platform book purchaser), they are good. Sometimes he harangues a bit more on a topic. Still class is there. I have a collection of his quotes and I quote from them:

Starters:
“White bread and refined sugar, if eaten, cause death within hours. So it's important to watch what you eat, at least until it gets inside your mouth. After that it becomes pretty disgusting.”

On American way of life:
“The article quotes a wildlife official as saying that great horned owls "regularly" attack people. "They have very powerful feet," the official says, leading us to believe that it is just a matter of time before these creatures are employed by automobile dealerships ("No thanks really, I was just look... HEY! Let GO!!")”

“We wanted to have a relaxing family vacation, so we got together with two other families and rented a sailboat in the Virgin Islands. There is nothing as relaxing as being out on the open sea,listening to the waves and the wind and the sails and voices downstairs yelling "HOW DO YOU FLUSH THESE TOILETS?"”

“Disney World is a place where your dreams really do come true, if you dream about having people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads come around to your restaurant table and act whimsical and refuse to go away until you laugh with delight”

“The Hawaiian Islands were discovered by hardy Polynesian sailors, who crossed thousands of miles of open ocean in primitive canoes, braving violent storm-tossed seas for months at a time. My family and I arrived by modern commercial aviation, which was infinitely worse”

On little family issues (and my tongue in cheek):
“Nintendo enables the child to develop a sense of self-worth by mastering a complex, demanding task that makes his father look like a total goober.
The typical Nintendo game involves controlling a little man who runs around on the screen trying to stay alive while numerous powerful and inexplicably hostile forces try to kill him; in other words, it's exactly like real life.”

“Dave's Safety Precautions: (1) Never keep three-year-old children around the house. (2) If you do, never sleep.”

Cocking a snook at the British:
“In America, people drive on the RIGHT side of the street, whereas in London, they drive on BOTH sides of the street, using hard-to-see cars about the size of toaster ovens. The best way to handle this, as a tourist, is to remain on one side of the street for your entire visit, and see the other side on another trip”

All in the family:
“Tragically, my wife and I both happen to be domestically impaired. If we were birds, our nest would consist of a single twig with the eggs attached via Scotch tape”

“The trick to remember while backing a boat into a carport is, if you turn your car wheels to the right ("starboard"), the boat trailer will actually go to the LEFT ("forecastle"), until your wife ("Beth") announces that you have run over a sprinkler head ("$12.95")”

Management:
“I think the people wearing enormous cartoon-animal heads at Disney World are part of a corporate discipline program for Disney executives: "Johnson, your department is over budget again. You know what that means." "No! Please!" "Yes! INTO THE GOOFY SUIT!"”

No parody is worth its salt if doesn’t poke the taxman:
“18th Century Tax Forms: "To determineth the amounteth that thou canst claimeth for depreciation to thine cow, deducteth the amount showneth on Line XVLIICX-A of Schedule XIV, from the amount showneth on Line CVXILIIVMM of Schedule XVVII... No, waiteth, we meaneth Line XCII of Schedule CXVIILMM... No holdeth it, we meaneth..."”

Dave! I hail thou! You’ve made my day many a time. :-)

It's my day! Anyday!

Sunday, late evening I venture out with my friend M. I want to try out X&Y, Cold Play's latest album.I go to the music shop to buy a CD. Develop cold feet and buy a cassette, instead. That way, if it turns out to be a dud, my loss'd be minimal, I calculate. The fact that, later I liked the album very much and cursed myself for not buying the CD is a different story.
But when I reach the market place where the music shop is located, I find the market crowded. It's the place they call it as Chhappan (56 eateries lined up, no less!). Even on normal weekends the place will be crowded, but this Sunday it is as packed as sardines in a can. One curious thing I notice is all are teenagers! Then I realise, "Oh God! It's Friendship day today!"
M finds it very difficult to drive through the mass and we have to park well ahead of our destination and walk.I find it crazy, all this Friendship day thronging. True, I too got friendship sms from a friend, but it is a stray incident. Here, there is, an city's entire teenage population! In one place! There is'nt any music or dance programme going on. Just that, everybody milling around, patronizing all the roadside and pavementside eateries and in general making a hell of a noise. M laments, "I should have been with a young thing and roaming like these people. It's my bad time, I have you for company". I commiserate. Is it not my bad time too?
Adding to this shops are selling pieces of string advertising them as "Friendship Bends". lol. "All stupid young things out there! Come here and buy our strings and tie to your stupid friends and your day would be complete, your friendship survived the test of friendship day, and we are happy counting the money" is the motto.
Coming from a no-nonsense Chennai (except for NewYear when people at midnight go crazy, shout, drink, drive and accost girls, if there are any, at that time), it is strange for me. I can see through the greeting card companies' motive in promoting such non-events. Nowadays even music companies have joined the band wagon. They'll bring out one sugar candy oozing album, promote it like mad, and rake the moolah from people senti enough to buy them. If it is anything romantic, Celine and Elton will pierce our eardrums crooning thier high Cs. Or mostly, one local wannabe will rehash (calling it remix) some old song and let every pinky teeny bopper gyrate to it.
An entire city going ga-ga! Whoa! That's something, for sure. I don't know what difference they see from this Sunday to all other days! Infact when asked to wish in return, by a friend, I had craftily replied, "Everyday is a friendship day to me, since I cherish my friendships all the days". I hate specially marked days to cherish a thing, wish sweet nothings (What do you exactly convey by gushing out,"Happy friendship day"?") and in general make an occasion for extracting money someway or the other. Let me tell you, Men are suckers when it comes to such senti occasions. They are made to shell out money, one way or the other be it Feb 14 or Raksha bandhan! Bah, I'd say it's a women devised scheme to commemorate such things as love and friendship on a particular day! Mind you, I'm not against women. I am just seeing through the senti, sugar candy stuff. And what do I see? Not a heart of Gold, but a heart pining after gold! (Just couldn't resist the turn of phrase, nothing else) Hmm.. Am I too cynical or am I getting old?
Anyway, we have some snacks at one of the 56 shops, move over to a pizza joint some distance away for finishing our dinner. We do it leisurely, then drive home past the market place. Now police men are regulating the crowd and diverting the market bound traffic! At 10 PM on a Sunday! We've got an office to go the next morning. We drive by this phenomenon, not being a part of it.

Dropping a hint. Like a bomb...

I took my friend A to a hospital, as he was down with fever, headache and other ailments. It was quite a big hospital. We went to meet the duty doctor. There was pictures all around the hospital walls. But what caught my attention was a picture at the duty doctor room. It was a picture of vulture!! yeah, they had hung a picture of the king of carcass, at the first place every patient will be ushered in!! Oh my God, if there had been an award for the subtlest hint, it should take the cake..er...award. First I was furious at their choice of picture, then I started to laugh at that. Atleast, they were frank about the possible consequences, a patient will suffer, having come to them!

All is fair in war and politics!!

With a coffee, in hand I start scanning the news paper. Reading the cartoons, sports pages, I slowly gulp the filter coffee. When you don't put your lips on to the rim of the tumbler, you cannot call it sipping, right? So, I slowly "gulp". Calvin is upto his usual pranks. Some Hollywood starlet divorces. News is thin. Amidst of all this I saw a photo. Madhya Pradesh CM, coming out of the Assembly to plead the opposition sitting outside on protest, to come in. I was pleasantly surprised. In my homestate, TN, politicians of opposite sides are not supposed to even look at each other. Few days back too, I saw a photo of MP politicians of all hues warmly talking to each other at the start of the assembly session! Why can't such manners and pleasant demeanour be practised by my home state politicians, I wonder! It's not that MP politicians are not tainted of scandals. Infact their conversation when two opposing guys meet and cheese for the cameras might even go like this:
X: "Hi, How are you?"
Y: "Hi, How is the enquiry against my corruption coming on?"
X: "Oh, That building society scandal. I have put a committee, headed by a retired judge, who needed a salary more than a pension. It may be the end of it.BTW, what happened to your agitation against my misrule?"
Y:"Yeah. We burnt a few buses, got few diehard followers arrested. a few more assembly noisy protests and a day's strike. That's it. meanwhile can you take care to evict us when we protest?"
Y: "Sure. And there are a few judges retiring this year end. So if you get to occupy this post, next election, you need not look far, for some committees. And how did your daughter enjoy Switzerland?"
Y: "Fine. Thanks. My daughter likes Switzerland. Eventhough the bank account business took a whole day, she got to sight-see too"
X: "Good. Next week I am sending my nephew for that job. OK. You carry on with your protest, while I'll give some sound bytes to those journo nuisance on leash there"
Y: "Ciao"
All done with panache. Scandals, corruption, strikes, riots are the same everywhere. But why does my state politicians look daggers at each others, refuse to even share the same forum including assembly and so on? When the mayor of the state capital met the CM, both belonging to opposite parties, a few years ago, it made a major news splash! Partly the media is responsible for stoking their enemity, I believe. As a result, very little gets done for the state and its people! :-((
Hope the next generation of politicians come together in tackling people's grievances, while they make something in the side. Something in the side, that will go on! It will become the longest surviving profession, when all other professions beome extinct. Come On, a famous politician once said, "A man who is in charge of honey distribution from the jar is entitled to lick his hand later on!"

Can't think, can't move, can blog

It's a lazy, lazy, lazzzzzzzy world. Everywhere I look, I see people moving about in slow motion. The milk man comes late, the news paper slithers in being shy about coming in 30 minutes after it is due.It's three hours since I woke up, but still sleep drips from my eyebrows much like the rain water dripping from the eaves outside. Everywhere is wet, wet, and damp. But this laziness around me, I sense for the past two days. Oh, it's in me, I realise. Wearing the blinkers of sloth, I perceive the world to be lazy. For example, see down below the apology of a post, I blogged yesterday. It started as a full page in my mind. It got censored by my lazy fingers which refused inputs from my brain and demanded a concise summary of what the brain wanted to be told. "Don't blather on", screamed my fingers at the brain. And this trend continues today too. My building janitor informs me that the main road to the office has been flooded due to the incessant rains the night before. I might have to take a roundabout, or risk driving through knee deep water. But unperturbed, I blog away, unwashed, unhurried and blatantly lazzzzzy.I would like to take a day's leave, laze around and...... well, I am lazy to think what I might do lazing around. But I have to go to office as I depend on the office canteen to feed me, two times a day! It may sound better but lazing around also means starving. Stomach in a panic, orders my mind to start for office. Mind running in circles, hazy in its thoughts and what not! What a Monday! Definitely not manic. I have to will myself to stop further blogging, move me, get ready to office etc...Let's see how the day turns out to be. For now, bye.
P.S: Typos, if any, are due to half shut eyes and a full shut brain. Pardon me, pleazzzzzzzz..